Coat Pockets

I currently have no fixed abode, I sit down only when forced to, I have arranged access to seven peoples’ couches, this is what is in my coat pockets:

  • Lipstick, red, Clinique
  • Bobbi Brown Pot Rouge, raspberry, label disintegrated
  • Two used tickets, Paris Metro
  • A buck from GDC last year
  • £2.76 in change (mostly coppers)
  • A usage-aged Nationwide debit card principally applied for so that I’d no longer have to use banking crisis-marked HBOS (shitbags)
  • Fluffy fake-fur Russian hat 3rd hand from a woman who looked better in it
  • Keys, office, vicious Rockstar keyring of six years old (can open bottles and facefuck attackers)
  • Keys to Kerry’s house, plastic Hello Kitty cupcake keyring


  • iPhone charger, grimy, plug attachment, inner wires occasionally exposed
  • UK Passport, stamped Fukuoka (x2), Narita (4), Hong Kong (x2), Manila, Bangkok, Aranyaprathet (unscammed), New York, San Francisco, Kansai, Poipet, a visa for Japan and Cambodia, and a picture of me looking like a hungover Courtney Love
  • iPhone, 3GS, 4 years old, battery fading, non-ironic playlists comprised Rolling Stones, Foghat, Kansas
  • One Life Left Christmas Party badge
  • Oyster card pass, Pacman pass holder with picture of Pacman on Tube escalators
  • 3 rings, giant fake rocks, dumb/prickly, primarily intended as use in clubs to ward off gropers
  • Fuschia pink flash Audio Technica earphones, once white cord, gross but good bass in emergencies
  • Pen, small, black, heavy
  • Notebook, small, black, tattooed insides, warped pages
  • Madonna-esque faux goth bracelet thing
  • Countless London train tickets
  • Toothbrush


I’m a girl scout.

Can I have a home now I need somewhere to put my books